no knitting content, but…

7 May

Mostly just stuff that I’ve been feeling lately. I’ve got job & employment things on my mind.

This might not all make sense but this is what I’m thinking lately. And how things are swirling around my brain.
I’m trying to figure out my life. What I want & what I need to survive. Late in the game, yes. I’ll be 32 in October and I have NO idea what I want to be when I grow up. Most of the time, I don’t want to be anything. I just want to have a decent career, be financially independent(able to pay bills, save for the future & not worry obsessively).
Unfortunately, things are not right with my job. This isn’t news – things have never been perfect with it but lately, things have gotten worse.  I hate working the evening hours during the academic year(ideally, I’d love to work M-F, 8-4 or 9-5), a few of my co-workers make me tired, and I just have a general malaise. One of my co-workers is exhausting – she’s not happy and I swear she brings everyone else down, and her husband works with me too. He works evenings & Sundays with me. It’s awful: they talk about each other to me & I have to constantly say “I work with him/her too, so please don’t tell me” – something I wouldn’t expect to have to tell people in their 40s.
All of this has been the case for awhile now but looking for a new job is hard. It’s essentially like adding a second horrible job to your life. So I’ve just been dealing(albeit badly) with the situation. I’m looking at it as ‘I have a job, health insurance, a retirement savings…’
When someone asks me what I want to do, all I can think is I want to read and knit, read about knitting, and even knit about reading(if that’s possible). Writing about these things might be fun too.
Is it too much to ask to have fun at a job? I’ve never thought about a career as fulfillment but a necessity.
What would I be good at? How do I break into those careers at a time when I’m getting older by the second and will be competing with kids fresh from college?

And in other news, I was so excited about Degrassi last week and I’ve forgotten to watch it every morning this week.


One Response to “no knitting content, but…”

  1. Flandy June 19, 2008 at 1:51 pm #

    and even knit about reading(if that’s possible)

    Hee. You are funny and cute, too. And I feel your pain. 😦

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